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I have a secret to share here at Doctor Disney: I haven’t been to Disneyland.
Some people are shocked when I reveal this heartbreaking statement, but don’t worry, a trip to California is actually next on my vacation bucket list. I have read multiple Disneyland guidebooks, watched dozens of YouTube videos, and even played that virtual Disneyland game for the Xbox. But, there are still some things that I don’t understand about this original Disney theme park destination.
Here are ten assumptions that I have about the Disneyland Resort that need a bit of clarification:
- Peter Pan parkours off queue line rails and character attendants don’t exist – Because of this YouTube video, I have always assumed that the characters at DL have a lot more freedom than those at WDW.
No nasty queue lines and no awkward assembly line photo-ops. And the characters even cross movie boundaries to interact with each other. The Mad Hatter is totally BFF’s with Tink, right?
- The Cast Members are even nicer than those at WDW – I picture exclusively all jolly old men and women with Legacy nametags handing out magical moments left and right and bowing to my every whim as I enter the various lands of fantasy.
- The Resort is beautiful, yet surrounded by tacky hotels – There’s some hype around the idea of Disney’s Good Neighbor Hotels. They obviously want me to first and foremost book a package at one of the big three Disney-brand hotels, but then they’ve got the Sheraton and Holiday Inn and Jolly Roger with that continental breakfast. So tempting…
- The Guests are mostly locals and celebrities, but mostly celebrities – My Californian native Aunt Patti always used to say Disneyland was the locals’ hangout. I picture a laidback, chic locale that is less about running from attraction to attraction, and more about relaxing and sunbathing on the steps to the Matterhorn. Running into Brangelina would be a high possibility.
- Disneyland is more magical than Magic Kingdom – I have always assumed that when I enter Disneyland for the first time, I will cry tears of joy and feel the spirit of Walt pulsing through my veins in some creepy, nerdy Disney way. After all, the park experience began here. I picture the upkeep is exceptional and the attention to detail even more pronounced.
- 6. DCA’s Tower of Terror is weird – Supposedly there’s no fifth dimension horizontal transit with the elevator cars? What? So you just… drop?
- FastPass isn’t a big deal – I keep hearing DLR is making the transition into FastPass+. But I have always assumed that really the only attraction you’d need a FP for would be Radiator Springs Racers, because it’s so new. I always picture a perfect world where Guests aren’t so cutthroat about return times and just happily wait in line without complaint.
- Their Pirates of the Caribbean is, like, twice as long – They’ve got the Blue Bayou. And two drops. Oh. My. Goodness.
- You can walk to everything – Apparently if you stay at a closer hotel, you can just …walk to the front gate of the parks? As a professional Walt Disney World Transportation Rider (I just created this title for myself), this is baffling to me. And the Monorail is listed as an attraction on their website. Crazy!
- Their Haunted Mansion has actual ghosts – This YouTube video explains it all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSax1GUugJM
The Haunted Mansion is actually haunted. And they also do this crazy mash-up with Jack Skellington around holiday time? And people love it? What’s this?
So there you have it. My ten assumptions about the beautiful and mysterious place they call The Disneyland Resort. Someday, I shall visit. Oh yes. It will be mine.
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